How my Mom Taught me to “Not to Throw a Fit!”

It amazes me when I go shopping how many kids are screaming to the top of the their lungs.  They are upset because they want that toy, book, or whatever else their parents said, “NO” to.

Not too far back I saw a 4-5 year old actually slapping and screaming at her grandmother, for the such.  I shook my head, as I was in total disbelief.  So I decided to share my story on how my Mother taught me, “I was not going to get one dat-blasted thing, through a fit.”

I was four years old and she and I went shopping.  At that time they had these wooden pianos, (which I called a pa-nanner) with about 10 keys.  It was bright red and so pretty and “I WANTED IT!”

She told me, “No.”  The fit began.  Crying, kicking, even laying on the floor, kicking and screaming.  So she bought it, to shut me up!

Oh I was a happy little camper then.  Fit, immediately stopped.  Wiped my tears and headed to the check out counter with Mom. 

We got into the car and she did not say a word, but she had one happy little girl.  We drove home and she was quiet, but we did have some chatting going on.

When we got home, she took my “pa-nanner,”  and placed it on the top of my closet shelf.  Back then, closet shelves were very tall.  She then turned to me and said:

“You will never touch it!”

At that, Mom turned and walked off.  Of course I could not reach it, not even with a stool.  In fact I was about 7-8 before I could reach that “pa-nanner.”  It stayed on top of that closet shelf for all of those years.

Then when I could reach it with a stool, she took it and threw it away.  Never once was I ever allowed to hit one key on that “pa-nanner.”   I looked at it every single day of those years, though.

I knew from that point and time in my life, if I wanted anything, it was not going to come to me, because I threw a fit, or thought myself so deserving. 

When she placed my “pa-nanner” on top of that closet shelf, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, my hands and that toy would never make contact.  They never did.

I also learned “no” meant “no,” and “yes” meant “yes.” 

There was never any discussion about it, something just told me, “If I liked my rear-end, to let it be.”

It was a lesson which I hated.  It was a lesson taught to me over a period of 3-4 years.  I never again, threw a fit in a store, or anywhere else for that matter. 

What that “lesson” did for me in my adult years, brought me far in life.  I was for the most respected in my work place.  I was always able to “climb the ladder.”  As one boss told me:

“You are a dying breed as far as employees go.  You actually work and do what you are told, without a comeback.”  Thanks Mom!

I just thought I would share this because the best thing a kid can learn is a:

“Life long lesson, taught at a very young age!”

God Bless, SR

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4 Responses to How my Mom Taught me to “Not to Throw a Fit!”

  1. I loved this story. When my kids were young (1, 2, and 6) The oldest took my middle child’s favorite stuffed animal. My middle child balled up a fist and punched her sister as hard as she could, in retaliation. “No more Milky,” I said. Milky was the name of the stuffed cow. I got rid of it. My middle daughter still finds it very unfair that I got rid of her toy when it was her older sister who took it in the first place. I told her, “What your sister did was wrong, but there is no excuse for assaulting her. If the cow is a catalyst for that kind of behavior, I’d rather it not be in our home. My response might seem extreme and even unfair to some people, but it did teach them a lesson. The most memorable lessons are those that require the most of us.

    God bless you, SR.

    Liked by 1 person

    • SR says:

      Hey Heather,

      Hope you all are having a great day! I love your story, also. As far as “your response seeming unfair and extreme to some people,” so be it! That is why I see all these kids throwing these fits in the stores. Heaven forbid one should be made to “MIND!”

      I am so happy I am not raising kids today. If I had to have some 12 hour conversation with one of them each time they did something wrong, that would last about 30 seconds in my house. I read on a blog years ago where a mother put her kids chores on popsicle sticks to get them to do them. They had to draw them out of a jar and if they did not do them, then they did not get their reward. Gees!!! I told mine, “Go clean your room.” There was no debate, conversation about it, or anything else. They did not get a reward for it either. But…. they did clean it.

      When that little girl was slapping her grandmother, the mother was standing right there. I told that mother, “You had better get a hold of her now, or when she is 15 she is going to be doing that to you.” Her response, “I do not know how to handle her??????” I told her, “She is four how hard can it be?” She said, “If I punish her, she will throw up.” I told her, “Then make her clean it up.”

      I do not understand the mindset of some parents today. To think these kids are one day going to be adults. The good news is, I will be dead by then! 🙂 Have a great one. You know I love you. God Bless, SR


  2. jorichurch says:

    This is a great story! I think there is a tendency to think that because when we were growing up and we asked why? And our parents said “because I said so.” And we felt slighted and injured, that then the remedy is to explain everything to our kids.

    But that’s not how kids develop psychologically. When they are young, short answers and object lessons and strong boundaries are indeed the way to go. And when kids become older, if you want to add some words, I’m sure that’s fine, but teenagers are going to feel unfairly targeted anyway, so maybe it’s best not to bother. I don’t know. I don’t have kids.

    It’s all part of a larger multi-faceted problem. I haven’t figured it out. I almost wonder if part of it is the loss of community. We don’t really have friends and community the same way anymore. Parents and kids want to be each other’s friends. But I just don’t think that is helpful or constructive.

    Liked by 1 person

    • SR says:

      Hey Jori,

      Thanks for the very good comment. I do not know what is really a right or wrong way to raise a kid. I had very wise parents and these are some of the ways they raised us and we raised our kids, and this is how they are raising their kids. Through three generations outside of the “normal” kid problems there have been no real issues.

      1. We always had to say “sir” and “mam.” There was never any talking back to any adult or disrespecting one. If a teacher did something we felt was wrong, our parents talked to the teacher not us.

      2. Dad always said, “Give a kid enough rope to hang themselves, but not so much that you cannot rope them back in.” So we were always allowed to “hang ourselves.” They always roped us back in.

      3. We had chores to do and all of us kids worked, our kids worked, and now their kids are working.

      4. We had to make good grades, our kids did, and now our grandkids are.

      5. There was never any running to another parent when the other one had made a decision on punishment and the like. Mom and Dad always had each others back on that one. If Mom said it you did not run to Daddy, and vice versa.

      6. We had curfews and bedtimes. The only way any of it could be changed if we wanted to go out with friends say after a dance to get something to eat is, we had to call home first and ask. I never broke a curfew in all of my teenage years. Anytime I called home I was always allowed to go.

      7. Our friends were always allowed in our home. At times we had as many as 15-20 kids at one time. When I asked Mom why she let us do that she said, “Because I knew where mine were.”

      8. We lived in a very clean home. My mother was immaculate. She and Daddy kept us kids well dressed. All clothes were ironed and the like and my mother worked outside of the home also. She and Daddy did sacrifice so us kids could always have clothes, food, etc… However, they did not buy us 40,000.00 pick-ups and the like. We had to use their cars.

      9. We did get spankings if the “crime” warranted it. Not many, as I was five years old the last time Daddy spanked me. That was because he had laid concrete in our dairy barn and told me and my brother to stay out of it and we road our stick horses all in it and he had to call that man out to do it all over again at midnight. However, he left one of my stick horse trails with one footprint and one of my brother’s. So as I look back the spanking was well worth it.

      10. My parents were Mom and Dad. They never claimed to be anyone else, especially our friend. They always said, “There was too much age difference.” 🙂

      11. We were involved in sports and other school activities but not so many that we did not have time to eat.

      12. We had horses, dogs, pigs, cattle etc… we grew up with. Horses are still our love today.

      We were pretty good kids, so were our kids, and so are the grandkids. Yep, we survived it all. Everything some modern day parents would not dare to do! I am so glad my parents did. Again thanks for comment and God Bless, SR

      Liked by 1 person

I am a wife, mother, and grandmother. I enjoy nature, animals, drawing, quiet time, and praying. I also love to read the Bible, books about the lives of the Saints, and the history of the Catholic Church. You are welcome here. God Bless, SR

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